There's a moth trapped in the lampshade and I can't believe he won't die. Flap flutter flap. You know the joke about the moth who goes to the doctor I am sure or if not I will tell you sometime, or I guess you could let your fingers do the walking. Remember when looking things up in the phonebook was a snap. Now I can't even fill out a nice voter ballot without wondering if my poor, tender hand is going to get all cramped up from the writing. Oh computer you have spoiled me beautifully, oh internet you must really really love me to give me so much.
What else? After having spent a very long time with pocket tissues I bought a box of tissues for my desk and it is like, wow, that is luxury. I splurged another 25 Kc today on a box for the living room. I want so much to be a tortoise and take everything with me everywhere but it is some kind of wonderful to not have to pat all the pockets to find simple things, but instead to reach out one's hand and it is there, the thing you wanted. I don't think it's a metaphor for anything in particular.
You want to know why blogging died? It is because the people who were talking the most forgot to do much listening, and the people who were talking a little stopped being interested in listening so hard. Who is the politician who said to people "I see you, I see you"? That guy gets it. Everybody wants to think somebody sees them, and if you're seen by a bunch of people I expect it can get hard to perform but I think just as importantly if you're not seen by anybody it's sometimes hard to keep watching. So you should say "I see you" even if all you really mean is "I see you seeing me". I actually have no fixed theory on this, but I know it hurts to feel invisible, even though it is one of my top five desired superpowers. I also want to be able to teleport, both to get to places and to get away from them.
My heated dislike of sports and competition in general is so directly counter to my love of games that I have had to give it some serious thinking lo these recent weeks. Because I love games. And I like winning them, I guess, though I like playing them most of all, and if I am with someone who plays well I am happy to lose to them. I do not think this applies to sports because sports seems more focused on playing as a means of winning than a pleasure in itself, but maybe most normal people play games to win as well and it's just that I haven't had my name never called when choosing sides at Carcassonne.
Also to be able to tell when people are lying, which is a variation on reading minds that seems less invasive than reading all of someone's private thoughts but would make me feel safer, because more than broken bones I am scared of being lied to without recognizing the lie. He never said he loved me by the way so he neither lied then nor told the truth and later changed his mind so that was a survivable pain.
After several attempts to let youtube teach me, I've decided to pay for ukulele lessons although now I have to decide if I want it tuned to C, which is US style, or D, which is European style, or whether I want to know the difference. The issue being, I suppose, whether I'm going to want to jam with Americans or Czechs. My main goal now is to learn like 3 songs and play them to myself all the time. I had not featured "jamming" as any kind of goal even down the road. But Czech or American is the first question and not which three songs. I wish I could learn languages instantly is also one; I wish I could play a musical instrument is not but get back to me next year, because if it's worse than learning Czech I will be stabby. Meanwhile I have honestly no idea what to tell you, meaning I know neither what you want to hear nor what I would say if I knew.
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