withis

 On a floor in Japan 
I drew a circle around myself 
because it was the only way to sleep. 
I don't know what waited for me 
but I know I would not have 
survived the night without its protection.

Listen, I told him.
It's not like this gets easy.
It just gets less difficult.

This was just another circle, 
another symbol wrapped around myself, 
a warning sign, a way to keep safe.
Tied around a blood line 
to keep the pulse from being strong enough 
to pull anybody to it. 

The pulse that pulls, 
with a loop round it 
like a falcon's jesses.

It's only a circle, a ring,
a simple pretty thing that became a symbol,
and if I step outside it
slide out from it
in fact there is nothing now possible
I could not have done anyway.

Like any circle it keeps
bad things out and good things in.
Or the other way around, around.

There are so many things to escape,
handcuffs, tethers, the mortal coil.
At night in her sleep
she slides back into her restraint
and wakes for a moment feeling safe
and then remembers.