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February 11, 2010



But are you OK now?

For the past couple of years the thought I'm processing and not speaking is "Why do you think I give a flying f*** ?" But that's mostly in my low moments.


Madeline - What are they telling you that makes you wonder that? I tend to care a great deal about minutiae, and am sometimes surprised that the people I'm talking to don't share my fascination... but I am capable of attending and modifying for the audience, I think. Is it the same people boring you, or an overturning flow?


No, no, not information sharing. I love that. It's the "this chore needs doing" from my family that most often provokes that reaction. And I should be clear that this has become one of my internal markers for depression -- when I start reacting like that, I know I'm feeling down.

Sorry to provoke self-doubt.

A woman sitting next to me on a train once told me about why sewage treatment plants are round (because they need constant stirring and the easiest way is a long arm mounted in the middle, same reason as crop circles, really). And she thought she was boring me, but clearly not, as I remember it many many years later.

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