talk to me like the rain.

I cry a lot. I mean really a lot. I cry because something is sad, okay. I also cry because something is funny. I cry when things seem sweet. I cry for death, sure, or cruelty. But I also cry at weddings, I cry any time children are singing, I cry reading metafilter threads. Bob Marley would not have known what to do with me. It is almost ridiculous. Lugubrious. I think I wasn't always this way; in fact I was talking to one of my old friends, and he said he'd never seen me cry. Never. But people who have known me more recently just sort of take it as a thing about me, like how I sneeze never once but at least three times. You just have to hand me tissues and wait till it's over in both cases. It's gotten to the point where I can cry for a solid hour before anybody says "what's up" I mean it's like how you don't bother to say "Gesundheit" until I'm done, because really, it's boring.

And I think, I like to think, that I feel everything intensely, that this is just part of me. You had a fight with your friend and I am defensive and wounded with you. You are hot in the summer sun and though I am fine there is a trickle of sweat down my back, I'm sure. Your delight and I'm smiling so hard my teeth itch. It's like somebody dialed my empathy up to a point where it's so loud that all I can hear is all this feeling.

And then other times it's like: you know what? I'm sitting here alone, and it's raining outside finally, and I'm reading Tennessee Williams, and I'm crying because I've actually lost my personal mind. Which is also possible.

Comments

[mig]

I've never seen you cry, have I? I don't think so. I'm an easy crier. I cry at cartoons.
(Don't worry about your mind, yet. It's summer. You'll find it soon, I bet.)

[Julia]

Thank heavens for the rain. I spent a week with an ice pack on my head so I could think. That was quite long enough.

[tuckova]

Julia - K went out and danced in it, it was just such a relief, right?

[kathy n]

I started random crying after giving birth too...weddings (although I hate them), watching the damn childbirth movies when I teach family life (Every Time), watching the stupidest stuff, sometimes just driving in the car. Drives me bonkers sometimes.

[tuckova]

Thanks, you guys. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone. Brings a tear to my eye! hahasob.