cracking variations

Crack of dawn is when we get up and the clouds are still pink, which means sailors take warning; my grandparents had a thermometer in the hall that was supposed to predict all kinds of sailor's moods ("Its colors turn to pink you'll see for rain and high humidity"), and sailors aside I am  standing at the tram stop shivering for the coat I was right to leave behind because it will get hot later. Crack must have been smoked to make me leave the house this early; I am a morning person but a girl ought to know her limits. Which is four. In the a.m. A crack team was assembled to go on a mission, or not really so much a mission as just a regular trip to the cottage. Cracks are what we saw on the train, though there are so many ankle-length dresses everywhere, even at 5 in the morning with backpacks the Czech ladies go in style so there are these modesty dresses and also these low slung jeans, with more summer in the city cleavage than even I like to see so early in the day, and I feel old. When we get where we're going I sleep for five hours straight, or more like jagged, with moments of pulling up from the marshy water of dreams to crack my eyes open and wave faintly and then I was dragged back under. It's been a difficult week. Crack is the sound of the whip I put to my own back and said get up, do something, nobody likes you when you're lazy. Crack all ten knuckles and then chop some wood, carry some water, try to be less useless. Crack is what must be done to the code of language, of what did you mean when you said that, of when we discussed this for an hour last night what did you think we were talking about, of responsibility and neglect. Or not neglect but more like not caring. Or not not caring but like, momentarily being distracted by something else more important than anything I have to say. I'm not saying the birds aren't adorable, I'm saying... well, never mind. Cracked is what happened to the eggs and then yesterday the babies flew away. Cracked is the safe that was my heart. On the plus side, sometimes you crack me up. There's always a plus side, and you can get there by traveling carefully lightly watching your step. Between the cracks.

Comments

[Andrea]

I get it. I love it and you.