"But I had to do it. It's my nature," replied the scorpion.
Let's talk about the frog in the story, who represents everybody who has been gullible, who has trusted their heart in the face of facts to the contrary, who has agreed to do something in the hopes it would turn out well with the full knowledge it wouldn't; who represents, in short, you. You gullible trusting agreeable idiot. That is what the story tells us, that the frog kind of had it coming. So you kind of had it coming, is what I want to say. This is not strictly speaking the same as you asked for it but it has the same wah-wah-wah condescension. And it is as unfair as I told you so always is. The only person who takes pleasure in saying "I told you so" is an asshole. And the thing about the frog is that whether or not it was told is not important: The frog knew. You knew. You knew how it would end. Pushing off the shore with your strong legs, balancing danger on your back, you wanted to get to the other shore because it was asked of you and you always want to try, but you knew you wouldn't succeed.
So why did you do it? I think this part gets lost. We think about the scorpion all slithery and persuasive, but I don't think the frog fell for that. I think the frog knew it could be an awfully big adventure. I think you said: "Look, I will not make it to the other side with the scorpion on my back. I may not make it to the other side all alone, either. If I have the scorpion, at least the conversation will be stimulating. At least we will have some fun. And there are rocks and scary bits, and I will do better with a navigator. The scorpion will help keep me pointed in the right direction; I mean that stinger has to be good for more than just the one thing, right?" That's what you told yourself, isn't it. You got all caught up in making the journey interesting and succeeded in distracting yourself from the destination.
All I'm asking from you is that when it happens, when the sting of it hurts more than you can bear, that you not be crying as you resign yourself under the water. That you not say, "How can this be? How did this happen?" Because you did know. You knew full well. Keep the story your story; it's the only way to get out of this with some froggish dignity. Admit that you chose it. Admit that you had a good time. And keep your eyes on the shore in case there's mugwort there, which they say is an antidote for scorpion sting. As your precarious passenger slides from your poisoned back, one more strong kick can get you where you need to go. Stay calm, to slow your pulse. And remember it's okay to ask for help; it's just not okay to ask helplessly.
Mmmm. I like this one alot.
Posted by: Madeleine | June 22, 2010 at 02:45 PM
Madeleine! I'm always glad when you pop up. I'm glad you liked it!
Posted by: tuckova | June 22, 2010 at 06:46 PM
Thanks. Even if I misspelled "a lot." Don't tell me you didn't twitch. You are an editor.
Posted by: Madeleine | June 22, 2010 at 09:00 PM
M - Have you read this site? I like her story about the alot. Now I giggle a little when I see it:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Posted by: tuckova | June 22, 2010 at 10:23 PM
Giggle giggle giggle. I like you, alot.
We just read a couple of Lynne Truss' kids books. Have you seen them? There's a cartoon version of Eats, Shoots and Leaves and two sequels.
Posted by: Madeleine | June 23, 2010 at 04:35 AM
The thing about scorpions is that the conversation promises to be interesting but when you're out in the middle they just go on and on about themselves. Even if you did manage to get a word in, the scorpion didn't hear it.
Posted by: oddsocks | June 23, 2010 at 11:48 AM
How weird, I was confident that I had made a comment on my own site, and yet it is not here. Ahem.
M- I have a weird thing about Lynne Truss. She rubs me wrong. She feels like the kind of person who would correct your manners in front of others.
Captain - Really? I sort of see the scorpion as being one of those "good listeners" who's mainly sizing you up. But yes, not necessarily hearing. I like your picture.
J- YAY! I mean, I'm sorry. Tell me about it?
Posted by: tuckova | June 25, 2010 at 08:51 PM
This is perfect and to the point. Especially important is the last line--there have been so many times I've wanted to say just that.
In my experience, the frog is not content with the awesomeness of frogginess and hopes that the scorpion's sting will give her a little danger of her own.
Posted by: carrie | June 27, 2010 at 06:25 PM
Carrie - Thanks for the feedback. That's an interesting interpretation. You have made me think, which I like!
Posted by: tuckova | June 28, 2010 at 01:45 PM