like a button you can't stop pushing

So the metaphor this week is definitely bees. Friar talks me to sleep every night about solitary bees, making home for bees, the wonder of it all. I shaved my head and thought maybe if I dyed my hair black and yellow like the guy from General Public I would seem like the kind of thing you want in your garden, but there is nothing mellifluous about me. I'm mostly bumping against glass next to the open window, dive bombing flower reflections in pools of water and drowning in my errors, and likely to sting anybody who tries to help.

Here are some photos.

This is kind of lame, but hey! Here is a list I wrote in January (It's nearly Earth Day! I'm all about reusing and recycling!)

1. I regularly crave vinegar and salt and will eat them by the spoonful if I can't think of something better to put them on.
2. I am disappointed in myself for not typing with a dvorak layout.
3. I cannot imagine not having a "wave" keyboard and would rather not type than use a regular keyboard.
4. I am so angry so often that it frightens me sometimes.
5. I hate talking to strangers.
6. I still think it's a big deal when someone compliments my Czech.
7. I had an iPod for a year before I figured out how to use it.
8. I am extremely uninterested in how things work.
9. I like learning about how people work, though.
10. I have the rocking chair that my mother rocked my sister in. It used to be orange.
11. I do addition on my fingers but I usually hide them in my lap so people can't tell.
12. I used to fingerspell out everything people said while they said it, and I still spell in my head sometimes. It helps me pay attention.
13. I like the Neutrogena face massaging anti-wrinkle thingie, not because I have wrinkles but because it makes me sneeze convulsively.
14. I am currently persuaded that I have had a headache for two weeks now. I anyway am pretty sure I have taken ibuprofen every day for two weeks.
15. I greatly dislike questions about "favorite" anything, though I sometimes ask them for lack of another topic.
16. I can't sing but I know all the words.
17. I can carry a grudge longer than anybody I know.
18. I paid off my college loans in one year by living in Japan and not buying anything except food and kerosene for that year.
19. I would rather go back to teaching than live in debt, but that is only because death is not an option.
20. I don't think I have made this many "I" statements before in my life and she thinks she should have done it in third person.
21. When I was little, my teeth were so crooked that I could put my thumb between my two front teeth.
22. At one point in a particularly dissociative insomniatic burst, I persuaded myself that all the people I "knew" on the internet were actually just this one person who was messing with me. Claudia, whose writing skills are such that she could probably pull it off.
23. I love the numbers 23, 42, and multiples of nine up to 90. I like the first two because they are heroes in books that I like, and the nines because of the fingertrick. Oh, and I like 6 because it's Bert's favorite number and 1x2x3 = 1+2+3.
24. My favorite game when I was little was to pretend I was on a train being pursued by...somebody... and people would come to the door of the carriage and I would have to disguise my appearance and voice using only the materials in the carriage and persuade them that I was not the person they were looking for. This was before Jedis.
25. Sometimes I am blown away by how old I am.

Comments

[Julia]

I used to touch type (on my knee, or desk) everything people said too, very OCD of me, but it did help me learn how to type fast.

I love your train game. Thank you for your 25!

[ozma]

Love #22 and #24.

What are you angry about?

[tuckova]

Ozma- What am I angry about? Hrm. Mostly to do with people who act with disregard for others. People who cut in line in front of kids, people who stand on the sidewalk so that you can only pass them by stepping into the road, people whose self-absorption prevents them from any kind of empathy, both on a personal and global level. I used to feel sad about that, but now I find I get angry, sometimes to the point of almost overwhelming rage.

[tuckova]

JV- Well, you don't have quotation marks around "know" either. But like, Claudia's genius is such that she COULD have hired a velvet-voiced Jack Skellington-type actor to PLAY you, right? If I had gone a few more days without sleep, I might have gotten there.