taste of blood

I see someone I thought I knew (however vaguely -- still: thought I knew) doing something so entirely counter to what I would do in those circumstances that though what I want is to know if I don't understand the circumstances, though what I want is to know how that could be the decision, though what I want is ever and always to be informed, to understand, to know better, I am afraid that this difference in approach is a drastic difference in morals, and that knowing that would mean I never knew them, however vaguely. And so I bite my tongue and watch and wait and later maybe when nobody's looking I'm not there anymore because I probably was never really there to begin with, since it wasn't where I thought it was, anyway.