eventually: Ithaca

stately plump anne tuckova
i've been not terribly happy with myself lately and the rainy weather early this month was a factor but not a cause. it's better now, getting better, but i was ripped with conflict between a need for drastic change and an equally dramatic unwillingness to act. i gave bartleby a run for his title in my absolute disinclinations; if you could win a race by taking steps away, i would have won.

came from the stairhead
winning by distraction, by making games for myself in which getting one thing done counts as success. on advice i went hunting for wellingtons but failed and so decided to buy more socks, since my knee-high striped socks last winter were the highlight of my personal sartorial season. also you can gain and lose a lot of weight before your socks don't fit. i went to a sock store, by which i mean a store entirely devoted to socks, in which they had no knee-high striped socks, no knee-high solid-colored socks in my size, also no striped ankle socks in my size, and then i gave up asking what else wasn't behind the counter and came home and threw out all the socks that were holey, or vaguely frayed or even vaguely ugly, anyway, so that if i ever find socks i won't hesitate to buy them. then i gave away or recycled all the clothes until i had it down to two boxes. the balloon has to get off the ground first, and then you can see where you're going.

bearing a bowl of lather
i am working on being the person i want to be, a person who splashes in puddles instead of weeps into them, a person who looks for the rainbow, a person who smiles randomly. friday i was snapping my fingers in rhythm with my footsteps and i thought: as with everything, it's just a matter of continuing to pick up one foot and move it forward.

a mirror and a razor lay crossed
i got offered a job teaching the graduating class at a high school (two hours a week). i used to be a good teacher but some years ago i tanked hard and decided my mojo was gone forever. it may be, but the school needs a teacher. i don't ever want to return to teaching full-time, even part-time is too much, but i need, i think, to start scouting schools in person (on behalf of squire) and this is one way. also i always liked 12th graders. also i think being forced to put on shoes (with socks! must go hunting before next week!) once a week for two hours will probably be good for me.

Comments

[anne]

I took it! It's 2 hours a week, it's an age group I'm comfortable with, and I wrote a textbook for the graduation exams, so it just can't be that hard. And they need a teacher.

[ThatGuy]

Sending you an apple - in that Leave It To Beaver Gee you're neat Miss Landers way, not that Snow White poison apple way mind you.