as the philosopher jagger once said...

some things you want you have to absolutely give up on wanting before you can get them. it is not merely the stuff of hollywood, this "just when i thought i could never..." and then boom. if you want to get pregnant and you think you can't, you must sell the children's books you've been collecting since you were old enough to imagine wanting a child (you were nine) and those you can't sell, you must give away, and you must adopt some very bad habits, and then, let me tell you, boom. just like in the movies. but you can't say that you're giving up on it, you have to really give up on it. this is true for all things that are controlled by magic.

some things you want you have to absolutely give up on wanting before you realize you didn't actually want them. this is what they were telling you but you weren't listening because you really really wanted it. you want to be liked by him and you want to be liked by him and you want and you want and he doesn't. your desperation burns a path in front of you, pleading and not merely wanting but needing. you have to let it go, all that desperation, the belief you can draw it to you with the force of your will alone. walk away and every step you take away you realize what hell your life would have been if you had stood there one more minute. stop wanting the praise of the people who you do not respect; stop wanting the affection of people who do not share your values; stop wanting people who do not care for you. this is true for all things that are other people.

some things you want you have to work hard for. mostly it is about deciding that you want it. mostly it is about deciding how much you want it and whether you can do the amount of work involved. people don't mind if you say you want something for free, because everybody wants everything for free, but you have to know some things take work. you have wanted to go to greece since you were twelve. maybe earlier. why haven't you been there yet? you have planned to do something about your brittle heart for three years now, why don't you get on that? you can have these things if you work. this is true for all things that are you.

**the title of this post is an allusion to a line from the television show HOUSE, in which the good doctor makes an allusion to a line from the rock band THE ROLLING STONES ("You can't always get what you want").

Comments

[dawn]

a very good read. thanks for writing it.

[ozma]

The not wanting thing. I thought I did that because wanting drives me insane but now that you mention it, it may have worked a time or two.

[ThatGuy]

Anne -

But if you try some time, you just might find you get what you need.

—a footloose man

[Jippy]

I came all the way over here to read what you have to say....you could hyperlink it from the blogger profile but no........I type it in and then when i get here........... I get the damn kick in the pants I need.
grrrrrrrr I love to hate you right now.....gie me time.......

[anti]

Okay, stop that! Your whole creepy "I'm gonna fully articulate your current inner monologue for you" thing. Just...God!

[Samantha]

De-lurking here... that was a truly lovely post. As I once read, "Conquering the delusions is the task of a lifetime."